“We are doing everything we can to ensure your daughter is cared for.” These were the commanding officer’s words when we ran into him at the grocery store a few days before Christmas.
Following the seizure in November 2017, we were notified by Marine Corps Community Services (MCCS) that my daughter could not return to the daycare until we had a team meeting to come up with a way forward. At this meeting, we had the child development center (CDC) director, nurse, exceptional family member director, my senior enlisted advisor, my company commander, and us. The result of that meeting was that I still can’t come back to daycare, and we were on our own until then. Luckily, my senior enlisted advisor had some common sense and helped me stay home with my daughter until we got an answer from MCCS and CDC.
Why did this happen? I believe it happened because MCCS and the CDC were covering their behinds. During the seizure, the provider placed my daughter flat on her back, which aggravated the loss of oxygen and the choking. I assume this is because the footage for the incident was ‘unavailable’ and because the provider and my daughter were out of frame. This is a clear injustice, as the recliner chair and the crib are in the middle of the room where the camera has a direct view.
Additionally, I took their CPR and First Aid course, which new CDC providers also attended. In that course, they specifically highlight NEVER placing a child on their back if they are experiencing a seizure. Something that the provider did not follow. And I don’t blame her; she panicked, and it was her reaction to lie my daughter down in the crib. However, for the CDC director, Mrs. L, to cover it and avoid touching on that subject led me to believe it was a cover-up. The lack of accountability and the failure to adhere to their own procedures could have led to the passing of my daughter. I thank God for the nurse who noticed my daughter on her back and moved her to her side.
Now, the EFMP program manager, Mr. C.S., is another individual who participated in this discriminatory action toward a 22q warrior. The EFMP’s role is to provide the family with knowledge, skills, and SUPPORT. The support includes increased awareness of relevant laws such as the ADA, HIPAA, IDEA, FERPA, and Section 504 of the Rehabilitation Act.1 1 Did this happen? Absolutely not! Mrs. L and Mr. C.S. were very close and worked together during this situation.
In January, we received official notification that my daughter was no longer eligible to attend the CDC because they “could not provide appropriate accommodations.” This was a letter signed by the installation commanding officer, who was present at that meeting with the commander, Mr. C.S. and Mrs. L. The parents were not part of that conversation with the commander; the guy who was supposed to support us apparently did nothing and just helped cover Mrs. L’s behind.
“Where did we go wrong? We trusted the system to do the right thing. We followed the required steps, only to realize that the reports were misleading, designed to protect the CDC leadership rather than support our daughter.
When we requested the footage through FOIA, we were told it was ‘unavailable’—a convenient excuse, given that the camera had a clear view of where the incident occurred. Their justification for denying accommodations didn’t hold up either. They had no problem accepting her initially, but the moment Mrs. L’s leadership was in question, suddenly, our daughter was no longer a ‘good fit.’
Writing this post took time because every word brought back the frustration and pain of that season. I struggled with anger, betrayal, and the feeling that we were completely alone. But in that darkness, something unexpected happened. A friend reminded me to turn to God, and I did. I returned to church—not just out of routine, but seeking something real. Through this experience, I learned that even when people fail us, God never does. God used what the enemy meant for harm to strengthen my faith.”
The new daycare, Kinder Care in Stafford, Virginia, was a breath of fresh air. They loved having my daughter. They were about helping our family, and my daughter thrived in this new place. We are grateful for their support and the positive change they brought to our lives.
As for Mrs. L and Mr. C.S., they no longer work for MCCS. Whether they were fired or resigned, the result is the same—their failure to do what was right cost them their positions. But that’s not what matters most. What matters is what we, as parents, take away from these experiences.
If you’re ever in a situation where your child’s well-being is at stake:
• Document everything – emails, reports, conversations.
• Know your rights – ADA, Section 504, and IDEA exist to protect children with special needs.
• Push for transparency – If something feels off, ask questions and don’t stop until you get answers.
• Find your support system – Whether it’s a spouse, a friend, or your faith, don’t carry the burden alone.
- Marine Corps Order 1754.4B Exceptional Family Member Program Procedural
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Life with DiGeorge 
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